Legally dead blog comes to life.

Has it really been over few months, or a year, since I last updated? Aw, not good. So yes, I have been a little bit slacking in updating my blog since the past few months/years/whatever, but in my defense, I've been really, really, busy - with various responsibilities and commitments that I now have. Or, that I just realized I have. Either way, I'm back to blogging wagon now (which hopefully will persist this time). Writing has always been one of my favorite, and best ways to channel my thoughts. - Or anger. Or both. And besides, I could really use some healthy bustle to fill up my free time.. And what better way is there to kill time?

Anyway, life in general has been a blip for the past months I didn't write. - If you were following my previous post you'd have guessed what I meant by that. But coming to think of that now, as a sane, logical, strong, independent woman that I know I am, it was just a rough patch. Things will come around. So I'm heart broken, but it doesn't mean that my whole life has too as well. It doesn't mean that I have to succumb into my stupid feelings of sadness and dark pit and be completely ignorant of the world around me. This all are choices, states of mind. And the choice is in my hand. Weather to get through the pain and be a better person about it, or go hopelessly around, and around the problem till I'm both physically and mentally broken.

Our love is strong. And I believe in us. Love'll find its way... it will.

So.. it's almost the end of May. And you know what's good about it? Is the fact that in two months (which I swear gonna be frikkin long) I will be heading back for Raya (Eid Fitr) during which I'll spend a good chunk of time only with my family! Flight ticket booked, so, woohoo! You know, it's just comforting to know that no matter how bitchy a person you get, there is one place that will always welcome you back - home. As dad put it, home is like our cocoon. You feel warm and safe inside it, but as long as you in it, you'll never be able to grow up to be even a quarter of person that you were meant to be. As butterfly emerges from its cocoon, it takes on a whole new life ahead. One that it never experienced before, but that its time in the cocoon has made it ready for.

Butterflies don't just fly, you know. They have to struggle, push hard to break the shell, wiggle and squirm themselves so only they could attain the full capability to fly free. To stay strong. And as I think about it now, I am happy to be here. I am happy to struggle. I am happy to change. And I am, indeed, aspired to be better person. After all, who wants to remain a caterpillar?

So I said life been busy lately, but I'm content with that. The busier I am, the faster time goes. The faster time goes, the closer I get to summer break. The closer I get to summer break, the sooner I will see my family and I absolutely cannot wait for that.

And now I shall get back to be busy. Have 240+ pages of Ophthalmology to finish before the midterm next week! *runnn*

"Don't grieve at the shattering. He breaks you, to build you. Deprives you, to give you. This pain in your heart was created to make you yearn less for this life. And to yearn more for Jannah." - Yasmin Mogahed.