o' exams, thou art a heartless bitch.

i should be studying. i mean, like really studying. the results of our last semester was out yesterday and i didnt get any fucked up A's. not that it surpised me (fine, it did a little, but not much) but like i said before, i didnt do big efforts though. so why get disappointed? but honestly okay, i feel sad. i pretended that i'm not. but the truth is i just couldnt stop thinking about it. i think this is the first time, ever since i enrolled here, to feel very, very sad because of my exams grades. not getting an A's really slapped me in the face. but i see the world didnt end yesterday, so why spend another night crying over results which i know i deserved?

so in general, i got 6 B's and 2 C's, and that includes the sucky Community. could it be any worse? oh yes. at least i didnt flunk in any, right? wrong. flunk in an exams means that i was half a dropout. and i know i'm not. nor that i was. i told dad about this, already. and he rocks! he said it's okay. there's still a room for me to improve my grades. yeah daddy...there is. but we're talking medicine here, which means finding a key to that room requires, like a work of a dog. i mean...who in God's entire universe could actually memorizes all the frikkin' cells, tissues, drugs etc? even if i take a whole brain of Einstein wouldnt solve this question. (or would it?) our lecturers are beyond brilliant and amazing. and i'm still in awe hearing them talking this and that of medical stuff. how on earth do they cope up with such ridiculous things and actually remember them? i mean, seriously, how do they!!!

i know i shudnt pointing out finger but u know, medicine is hard enuf already. and our university is making it even harder for us. i mean, what kind of mental institution would actually hold all subjects in single exams paper? yes. extremely deranged one, indeed! but well, others got straight A's. and we're in exactly the same psycho faculty, after all. *sigh* i dont really understand about the exams system but i do know that last minute frenzy seemed not to work for me, anymore. so, any solution how i can break my lazy habit of always studying at last minutes? and what's really killing me is the realization that i didnt care enough. i spend too much time doing useless stuff on the computer, completely dreadless, when i know the exams is coming in days. but i couldnt help myself. cuz all the things that i love to do usually would involve my computer. (or pretty much, half the things that i love to. the other half i wont get a chance, so i really have no choice). and right now i'm feeling like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, suddenly thinking of what would it be like if i was taking mechanical engineering at Uniten. to be honest, i dont know how it'd be like. but i always have passion for studying things surround me, things that i can see, or feel. like dynamic forces, thermo, waves, acquistic sounds etc. but well, anatomy would be fascinating too, if i dont have to remember much. *frown*

so anyways, we have another midterms coming by the end of this month. i think i'll just try harder this time, i dropped in my last semester with a great impulse but gratefully my legs are still attached. this will left as history that will never repeat itself. so, that's about exams results. which gives me, in somewhat way, yet another reason to hate Egypt and love, well the rest of the world. and i'm off as i'll have to get ready. i'll be having er, SC at 5 and i dont wanna be late again.